The Fear of being seen is another reason why we procrastinate and don’t finish stories, art projects, or other tasks.
Because once we finish, our product needs to be seen.
That book needs readers, that painting needs viewers, that piece of art has to go to exhibitions and find a buyer. (And of course, that opens up a number of other tasks to procrastinate on!)
And of course, if our products are being seen, we as creators are also on the line.
Being seen means to be visible.
With all of our flaws. With all the parts we don’t even like about ourselves.
It begins with our body.
We may not like how we look.
We may not have that ideal weight. (Dare I mention that idiotic “thigh gap”?)
We may not have ideal hair.
We may not like being looked at.
Some of us can hide a little.
Authors can use a pen name, and so can other artists.
We can talk though agents, unless we’re self-publishing.
But even if we can hide, our product cannot.
Our product will always be visible.
And thus it will be open to criticism.
Books will get reviews, so will paintings, and dance. Pottery will be bought or not, it will be deemed beautiful or ugly.
People will notice flaws. That typo we missed, that wrong stroke of the brush, that little bulge in the mug.
And we’re afraid of those flaws.
That moment when fear flushes us, along with that bad conscience we know from being kids.
That ugly fear of “what did we wrong this time?”
Nobody likes that fear. So we hide.
It’s so much easier not to finish that product, and avoid that fear. So much easier to go and vacuum, to wash windows, to cook, to play with the dog, or get lost in a computer game…
Much easier to procrastinate rather than allow visibility.
And even if we finish, some of us hide our project.
And that’s so sad.
Because I’m sure that so many novels are languishing on hard drives. So many manuscripts get burned. So much art is hidden away in the basement. So many paintings never leave the house.
So much beauty is lost, yet our world needs more beauty.
Because of that stupid fear of being seen.
I’m not saying you’re stupid, btw. and I don’t want to belittle your fear. It’s rather powerful if it stops you, and keeps you from doing what you love.
But that fear kills dreams. Your dreams. Our dreams. And it really is “just” a fear. A learned response to something that may have happened to you, or someone you know.
A fear that can be released.
Of course, the best tool I know for releasing fears is EFT tapping.
Why tapping? Because EFT works with the rational mind and the heart. It uses emotions and can shift the thought patterns we got used to. Because it can “reset” our thought patterns and beliefs – and help us let go of that fear.
This time around, the phrases are vague and I’m not completely happy with them. That’s because this kind of fear tends to be rather individual, based on experiences where we got humiliated. It’s much easier to release those when we can work with an actual experience – which I can’t when I’m posting just some tapping suggestions.
So try these, be gentle and loving to yourself (and let me know if you want more help):
Even though I hate being visible and vulnerable, I’m totally okay the way I am, and I now choose to acknowledge the beauty of what I created and allow some people to see that.
Even though I hate feeling vulnerable and I don’t trust people, I’m totally okay the way I am, and I now choose to be proud of what I created and let that feeling overcome my fears.
Even though I hate being visible and being criticised, I’m totally okay the way I am, and I now choose to see that my art could be worth dealing with that fear and criticism.
Are you afraid of being visible?
Can you imagine showing your work anyway?
What happened while you were tapping?
And finally – are you writing right now?
Please share in a comment.
Image Source: F. Moebius
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