I’m sure you experienced something like this example of self-sabotage I’m only too familiar with: You have a great idea for a story, and you just know it’s going to work out well. You sit down at the computer and …
… your mind goes blank. Or you feel your chest tighten up and you just can’t sit there anymore. Or something much more important calls to your attention, such as cleaning the kitchen, the windows or mowing the lawn.
That’s pure self-sabotage.
Now, before you rail at self-sabotage, here’s a bit of perspective:
Self-sabotage is not evil. It’s merely your subconscious protecting you from something that no longer is a problem. It’s an old pattern that used to serve you. And it’s still active and now hurting your writing only because at one point in your life it felt as if this was the safest thing to do.
Diverting your attention used to be a solution.
Unfortunately, now this emotional and behavioral pattern has become a problem. The first step to fixing this is to recognize it for what it is: an overprotective bodyguard.
As body guards, such patterns protect against disappointment, fear of being judged or even fear of being seen – and getting hurt. It’s possible that these emotions were a part of your life when you were little, and you created this pattern to keep you safely away from them. Sadly, there are environments that foster such patterns, in families, schools and among “friends”.
Changing the Pattern.
Chances are that you are no longer living in such circumstances. And we already know that this self-sabotage no longer serves you at all. It is time to shift it or to express this in more modern terms: Give it an update.
So the next step may sound counter intuitive: Value your Body Guard.
I’m serious. This pattern has worked hard over the years to protect you. It is not your enemy. And you can turn it into a partner. Real body guards protect, but don’t sabotage, right?
And a part of valuing an old friend like your self-sabotage pattern is to make sure they are still useful. They just need a new job.
How about shifting it into a pattern that protects you from distraction?
Wouldn’t that be the ideal body guard for a writer?
The trick is that you have to choose.
Choosing the new job.
So now every time that you start feeling that sense of fear and unease, remind yourself and your body guard that this is just the old pattern.
Value your body guard, and then remind it of its new job: Protecting you and your writing time. Those feelings of unease would serve you better if you lose yourself in social media or waste your time with “research” and “connecting”.
It’s a way of retraining your old pattern, and it will take time – but it’s so worth it.
And of course, if we work on this together, throwing EFT at your old sabotage pattern, the shift is most likely fast and long lasting.
Bonus: Tapping out of Self-Sabotage
EFT tapping is a great modality to deal with it. Here’s how to get started with a few tapping phrases:
Even though I have this pattern that keeps me from writing, I'm a good writer, and I now choose to take a much closer look at this.
Even though I have those times when I feel blocked from writing, I'm a good writer, and maybe it really is just an old pattern trying to keep me safe.
Even though I hate this self-sabotage, I'm a good writer, and I now choose to acknowledge it as a body guard - and then write anyway because body guards can't decide what I will do.
How does that feel?
Has anything shifted?
Do you have a question?
Let me know in a comment.
Image source: F. Moebius
PS: Forming good habits is very important when you want to be creative. We can actually train ourselves to guard our writing time and be productive.
Don’t believe it? Well, that’s a limiting belief.
EFT is the fastest way I know to shift limiting beliefs, old thought habits and other kinds of blocks. If you want help with that, click HERE and send me an email. Together, we’ll figure out how I can support you best.
PPS: My newsletter contains a full tapping round to go with my blog posts, so you can start shifting your mindset. Sign up through this link: Newsletter Sign-up