Loyalty is a huge topic in family systems. We are always expressing it in a multitude of ways. In addition, the system demands loyalty to those family members who were wrongfully excluded. (Everyone belongs, that’s Family Rule #1.)
So let’s imagine an aunt who was the black sheep of the family. She might have been shunned for many reasons. Aunt Erna always was different, maybe. Or she was the lone artist in the family, maybe even a writer.
And maybe she lived on her own in a small cottage, eking out a living on small advances and some ghost writing. The family looked down on her choice of life, and maybe she wasn’t even invited to family events.
It’s just a story. But such people exist in every family.
And it is quite possible that – subconsciously and due to system dynamics – you feel loyal to her. And you might be recreating her life-style in order to express that loyalty. Which includes sticking to her income limits.
Now, just as we said before, this kind of connection and expression of loyalty can be shifted to suit your needs. First of all, it takes awareness of the situation.
So check in your larger family if there is a person you feel a connection to. A person who might have shared your interests or passions. It doesn’t matter if they are still alive or already dead. The family system knows.
And then use EFT-tapping to shift the way you express your connection and loyalty to that person.
Even though I feel loyal to Aunt Erna, and I’m recreating her life to express that loyalty, I’m totally okay the way I am, and I now choose a better way to show that loyalty to my aunt.
Even though I’m used to expressing that loyalty by sticking to Aunt Erna’s income limits, just to be close to her, I’m totally okay the way I am, and I now give myself permission to choose a better way to feel close to her.
Even though the family system wants Aunt Erna recognized and honored, and that turned out to be my job, I’m totally okay the way I am, and I now choose a way of honoring Aunt Erna that supports my passions, as well.
Which family member do you feel close to?
How were you expressing loyalty to them?
What happened while you were tapping?
And finally – what are you writing right now?
Would love to hear from you!
Image Source: F. Moebius
Find the start of The Money Experiment here: The Money Experiment
PS: You’ll find my personal experiences with these beliefs in the comment section. Because I am tapping with these very sentences, I’m inviting you to join me on this journey, and share your experiences.
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