Another family rule that might completely block your success as author is one about how visible we may be in society.
Because visibility can be dangerous.
Right now, we can see societies, where being different and visible is quite dangerous. People are getting harassed, attacked and even killed because of their gender, religion, skin color or different origin.
So it’s quite sensible to have a family rule that disallows being different, visible or even famous. It’s a very protective one.
Let’s take a look at Charles.
He’s writing stories that he loves, and he has a bunch of fans. They snap up every book he publishes, and he’s working hard to get two to three books out every year. But somehow, it seems impossible to grow his circle of fans, and so his sales hover at low levels.
When Charles is invited to a small, local convention to talk about his books, he’s delighted. But two days before the con, he develops a nasty cold, loses his voice, and has to cancel. The convention happens without him, and another author takes over his slot.
Once or twice, he organizes a signing at an independent bookstore in his town. On both days, however, there are competing events in town that draw the crowds, and he only sells a handful of books to the few customers who come in.
This kind of thing is typical for Charles. And you can’t even say it’s his fault. And yet, there is a system at work that protects him from being visible. A system that tells him he shouldn’t be visible or famous.
But being a bestselling author depends on being visible.
And of course, it depends on being somewhat different that the mainstream. And let’s admit it: a part of being an author who publishes their stories is the dream of becoming at least famous enough to make good money.
If there’s a family rule telling us to run away from being visible or famous, however, we’ll sabotage our efforts on social media, we won’t pursue opportunities to do a book signing or speak at a convention.
We’ll hide from fame.
We get ill at marketing events or cons. We balk at paying for ads or running promotions. Or we refrain from mentioning our books when we meet people.
And lose visibility and money.
If this feels familiar, there might be a similar rule at play in your family system. Take a good look at your close relatives. Is there anyone with some fame or visibility? How does the family treat them? Or are there others with similar problems to get visible?
Then it’s time to shift that particular rule. Let’s tap.
Even though there might be a family rule that prevents me from being as visible as I need to be, I’m still a good author, and I now choose to know that being somewhat famous is a good thing for me.
Even though that family rule is only about protecting me from danger, I’m totally okay the way I am, and I’m now telling the system that I need visibility as author, and that it’s safe to speak at cons or be visible in social media.
Even though I find myself shying away from marketing and promotions, and there might be a family rule at play, I’m totally okay the way I am, and I now choose to know that being visible as author is safe and good for me.
How do you feel about speaking and book signings?
How strong is your family rule about visibility and fame?
What happened while you were tapping?
And finally – what are you creating right now?
Would love to hear from you!
Image Source: F. Moebius
PS: You’ll find my personal experiences with these beliefs in the comment section. Because I am tapping with these very sentences, I’m inviting you to join me on this journey, and share your experiences.
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