Our families have rules about everything. And of course, they have rules about how we’re supposed to earn money and make a living. There are traditions in the family which jobs to hold, and if you look closely at your family tree, you might easily see the patterns. In my family, most of my ancestors were teachers, state officials and housewives.
There is creative talent in my family. My grandfather, my mom and my sister are good at drawing or painting. My father is great at learning languages and on rare occasions allows his story-telling talent to shine. Having that kind of talent is nice – but for my family, it’s not a way of making a living. (I’m working to change that!)
Writing usually isn’t on the list of jobs open to family members.
Which means you have to break a family rule in order to be a full-time writer.
Unfortunately, we have strong safety programs that work hard to keep us within the boundaries set by the family system. You see, the family system is not about supporting you or making you happy. All it cares about is to hold the family together and maintain itself.
So you can choose to keep a day job and treat writing as a hobby and steer clear of the risk to alienate the family system.
And the ancient threat to make people obey the family rules is – Death.
As little babies we simply cannot survive on our own. We need the family in order to stay alive. Alienating the system would be suicidal. And this stark alternative powers our safety programs, quite subconsciously.
In my work as coach, I’ve seen unbelievable ways of self-sabotage, none of them consciously planned out. That’s how strong these urges are. So don’t blame yourself if you are prone to self-sabotage.
Look at the patterns in the family system.
Look at the rules.
Figure out where you are attempting to break them.
And once you know (and I can help you with this, having studied family systems for years), there is an almost magical solution: We can actually shift the family rules and align them with our dreams and goals. All it takes is awareness and EFT tapping.
Shift the family system rules and patterns.
I’ve done it many times with clients. You see, we’re influencing something energetic, the family system, with energy psychology. It’s a bit woo woo and hard to explain, but it works.
Here are my tapping phrases for you to try. And if you want more support, let me know.
Even though my family system only allows writing as a hobby, I’m totally okay the way I am, and I now choose to add writing to the job list of my family system.
Even though I’ve been self-sabotaging myself because being a full-time writer is very dangerous – I could be kicked out of the family for it – I’m totally okay the way I am, and I now shift the family rules to include writing as an accepted occupation.
Even though I’ve been subconsciously following the family rules and never did everything needed to become a full-time writer, I’m totally okay the way I am, and I now add full-time writer to my family’s list of accepted jobs!
Are you aware of self-sabotaging your writing?
Does this family rule resonate with you?
What happened while you were tapping?
And finally – what are you creating right now?
Would love to hear from you!
Image Source: F. Moebius
PS: You’ll find my personal experiences with these beliefs in the comment section. Because I am tapping with these very sentences, I’m inviting you to join me on this journey, and share your experiences.
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